Saturday, December 29, 2012

June 24.
"Montaigne. The language of the street is always strong. What can describe the folly and emptiness of scolding like the word jawing? I feel too the force of the double negative, though clean contrary to our grammar rules. And I confess to some pleasure from the stinging rhetoric of a rattling oath in the mouth of truckmen and teamsters. How laconic and brisk it is.... cut these words and they would bleed; they are vascular and alive; they walk and run. Moreover, they who speak them have this elegancy, that they do not trip in their speech. It is a shower of bullets, whilst Cambridge men and Yale men correct themselves and begin again at every half sentence . . . "



Two thoughts:
1. I wish my journal entries sounded like Emerson's (above).
2. I love Christmas break, and all the time it brings for me to simply read.
Three more days of twenty-twelve, and I think I'll spend them doing just that.




Sunday, December 9, 2012

December 9th, 2012: "New Words"



 


A few years ago Brian Stokes Mitchell came and sang with the Mo Tab and performed this song during the concert, and it has definitely become on of my favorite songs during this time of year, even though it has nothing to do with Christmas.

This is the only version of this video I could find on YouTube, and it also happens to be the corniest thing I have come across all week. Complete with cheese-fest slideshow and everything. You know you love those. Perfection!

But seriously, guys, I have his Christmas CD in my car right now, and every time this song comes on, I turn into a total cheese ball and cry. I love it so much. This lullaby is so beautiful, and he performed it so passionately, I just eat that stuff up. Especially at 2:54....gets me every time.

I get overwhelmed that I have such incredible parents who raised me to know love well, because I witnessed it every single day in my home, and still do. And I hope I can pass just an inkling of that on someday.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

In Which My Finals-week Coping Mechanisms are Revealed

Finals week does things to you. It messes with your mind, as you grapple with the identity crisis-es that arise from believing that your self-worth is defined by a letter grade, one which depends majorly upon that single, terrifying, heinously comprehensive final exam. The air on campus is so thick right now it is almost laughable. But not really, because it's finals week. Not funny.

Every semester, it seems that I find a different coping mechanism

One semester, I coped by listening to the soundtrack of the Kiera Knightly version of "Pride and Prejudice" every waking moment (Seriously, is it even possible to not feel relaxed when listening to that gorgeous stuff? I submit that it is not).

Last semester, my roommates and I coped by watching Julian Smith videos on repeat until we all gave up and went to bed (this was a nightly ritual). 

But this semester's coping mechanism has completely taken me off guard! As many of you know, my subconscious self is not exactly the kindest person whilst sleeping. Just ask my dear old roommate Mallory, and she will tell you many a story of how kind I was to her when I was disturbed from my slumber. It is rare that I remember these instances, but I have many witnesses that will profess this truth: if you wake me up while I am trying to sleep, I am not a nice person. I will yell things at you, hit the wall, groan obnoxiously, etcetera, etcetera. I will wake up in the morning completely myself again with no recollection as to what happened the previous night. Awesome, right? Subconsciously, I am a total jerk. Great.

This semester, a new problem has arisen. My subconscious has resorted to swearing. In German. In my sleep.

My roommate informed me of this behavior this morning.
Um.
I did not see that one coming.
Why yes, it is quite obvious here that my subconscious is super classy.
Major brownie points when you have a brand-new roommate, too.
I will be honest here in saying I have never developed a swearing problem in my life. Trust me people, for some reason it has never been a problem for me (minus one small bout of it last semester during finals week, but I completely blame Andrew for that ;) 

I will now proceed to go cram some more Microbiology into my brain. Tomorrow, I am going to try and resort to some other stress-relievers, such as, actually going to the gym, dark chocolate, more pride and prejudice, and puppies.

(No, seriously, tomorrow is puppy day. Kaitlyn and I are literally renting a puppy, and I could not be more excited! Hopefully some good ol' quality puppy-time will help lower my cortisol levels and keep me sleeping soundly and kindly and sober-ly. We will see!)

Good night all! Here are some pinterest gems, for your viewing pleasure:

I think we can all relate to that.

Backwards. Got it.

Sorry, the words are kind of blurry, here is what they say:



Up for the challenge
We have to know WHAT?!
Trying... to grasp... concept...
Is this going to last forever??
During the test...
Test conquered.


Perfection. :) Good luck on your finals everyone! Hopefully you have some healthier ways to handle the stress of this week




Tuesday, July 31, 2012

July 31st, 2012: "Uprooted"

For some reason, the recent tragic event in Colorado made me think back to this poem that I encountered whilst living in Ukraine. It is displayed in the Chernobyl museum and is about hope rising from the ashes of tragedy. 
Even though the ghost-town of Pripyet was off-limits to ILP girls, we were able to visit the Chernobyl memorial museum. There I experienced a small taste of the sorrows of that unforgiving event. I left that museum feeling a strange sense of hope, despite it being such a tragic memory. And for some reason the recent shootings in Colorado made me think back to this poem that was brushed carefully into one of the paintings at that museum. It's long, but worth the read.

"On April 26, 1986, power plant reactor #4 
exploded, releasing 250 million curies of radioactive materials into the
environment.  It is the deadliest nuclear accident of all time and
the people of Ukraine must still endure the aftermath."
The author of the following poem was profoundly moved by the vulnerable widows
and children I encountered in Pripyet, a town near the "dead zone." 
These words are displayed in both English and 
Russian at the Chernobyl National Museum:

Uprooted: Mother Ukraine

If a man's thoughts dye his soul
What kind of stain do his deeds leave?
A hazardous spill
On himself and upon the laps of others
Who share the same air
Breathing in and out, in and out
Now, there is bitterness that abounds
In the bread basket to the north
Uprooted family trees, with forgotten people
In yellow photos, dangling down
Wooden cradles set ablaze in the forest
Where blue light sprang from place to place
Luminescent, deadly beautiful
Reminiscent of sparklers
Crackling at a May Day parade
The rain has become hot tears pouring down
Falling down, dropping to the earth
The fragmented rivulets on a musical score
Splash on these paper lives
Fragile and all too brief
The muffled sobbing is a melody
But only to the ears of Him unseen
It's an aria of the heart that sings a Capella
The high pitched notes of pain

Yet, he who suffers speaks a wordless language
That can be understood, although the tongue is mute
It transcends dialects, country lines
And political ideologies...
Uprooted but not alone

I have seen lives irrevocably changed
In one moment in time
From one thoughtless, careless decision
Leaving ancient villages empty
Doors are swinging on squeaky hinges
For all eternity, plus seven years more
And the plastic dolls of stolen youth
Sit on dust covered window panes
Vacantly gazing at the loss...
Uprooted but not alone

Heartbreak and tragedy
Are no respecter of persons, traditions, religions
Or plans
It is blinded by skin color
And the coins in one's purse
I have been told that fear is like rust
That eats away hope, little by little
Corroding all confidence
This invisible acid obliterates desire
Until we are mere shells, with nothing more inside...
Uprooted, but not alone

I believe that love is a salve
To be spread on the wound to heal and soothe
Able to mend the innermost places
That are hidden from man
Faith causes that page to turn
Just because today's sunshine is blocked out by clouds
Doesn't mean the sun is gone
If God seems silent
It doesn't mean He has left us or doesn't hear our cries
Perhaps, we are the ones who aren't listening
To the voice that is gentle and low
Tender and always near
We must be quiet and still, He is here
And anxious to woo us to Him like a lover
He will be revealed once more...
Uprooted but not alone

There is a day that dawns upon all of our broken lives
That we are able to see clearly
If we look with unjaded eyes
That we are all people with ruined dreams
With unrealized plans
Yet, somehow they can fit perfectly into His bigger picture
And become breathtakingly beautiful, in time

Uprooted, but never alone
From these strange ashes
Hope will rise!

(c) Launa

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

June 28th, 2012: "Completely Chockablock"

So, one of my close friends has been sending me a word of the day, and it is vastly entertaining. Chockablock was one of the words this week, and it means this: crammed full of people or things. Now, as it always goes with the word of the day, I am probably using it completely wrong. But it's still a cool word and I liked it so.... there's your long explanation for the title. :)

My life has been crammed lately... but when people ask me what's new, I don't usually have anything very exciting to say. No, I am not dating anyone (thank you for asking me that for the nth time, I'm glad it is the first thing that seems to come up in conversations), no, I don't have any exciting trips planned, and yes, I am working and studying. That's about it. It does get sort of monotonous every once and a while, being so busy, but, it really is such an opportunity as well. I love it. I love learning, and although studying in the summer is excruciatingly difficult at times, I absolutely love the class. We all know I love my job, so that's not new. Becoming a med tech has really started to prepare me for nursing school. It is hard, but fun, and I'm getting better at it. So that is rewarding, to say the least.

Speaking of which. I find out about that on Saturday. Nursing school. BYU. Yes, I am getting my answer in LESS THAN THREE DAYS!
I just want to know, even if it's a NO. Because you know what? I can handle that. I know that although the immediate future is kind of hazy, my long-term future is certain. I will end up exactly where I am supposed to be-- eventually. Exactly how I get there is just the unknown part.  But it's gonna happen. I can just feel it. I just have to keep chugging along, and enjoying the normal, routine days that life has been throwing at me lately. I love them. I wish to live my whole life waking up excited about the day ahead, even when I'm ninety-seven and wondering "when the good Lord'll take me" (as one of my residents likes to say). The routine days make me appreciate the more exciting ones! And of course, I always have the excitement of knowing the best is yet to come. If that doesn't make each day exciting, I don't know what will!