I speak simply- in truth I am not that extraordinary, I feel like a babe among giants as I stumble my way clumsily through this whole nursing school experience-- surrounded by some of the most put together, brilliant, ridiculously intelligent people I have ever met in my life. They inspire me more than anyone, it is thrilling to be surrounded by such remarkable human beings, constantly. There is nothing else like it. The energy they inspire is indescribable. And they frustrate the heck out of me, too. But that's okay.
Every day I question if I am really cut out for this and every day I receive a push upwards, a small confirming whisper that I can, that I will. And then they come, tender mercies usually manifest through the people who surround me, the people closest to me in my life (thank goodness for them). And something in me decides to keep going.
A good friend of mine explained to me the other day that the word mediocre actually has roots that translate to "halfway up a mountain."
Well?
I think I'll keep that idea. :) I am halfway up a mountain! I feel battered and beaten up but I am looking up... and even mediocre people can find their way to the top sometime if they keep trudging along, however feebly that may be, with a small smidgeon of hope and a ferocity unparalleled.
So this is what I have chosen. To dedicate the next two years of my life to learning The Healer's Art. So this whole running on 5 hours of sleep and working long hours and living in the Harold B. Lee library and hardly having time to breathe thing, well, I think I'll keep at it. This is a remarkable time of life and as HARD as it is, I love it. Sure, I'm barely standing, but truth be told:
I love it.
So let it be known, I am a mediocre person.
And you know?
I'm okay with that.
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