Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Random Facts for me, mostly memo's from phone

In kidney failure the pH of the blood decreases because kidneys recover bicarbonate from urine to buffer blood

Russian Slang: Kruto (steep)

Coastal.com is good for discount eyewear/contacts

Gelotology, the study of the physiology of laughter.

YOur body can generate up to 30,000 iu's with like fifteen minutes of sun exposure (look this up later)

Morgan Freemark

Conflagration, defalgration, misanthropic, dilletante (look up later)

Cosomell Mexico, for scuba diving (mom and dad)

...and then I found 20 dollars.

Trisha, July, 1997

Hootinanny-- to cook? Diane from work

The stressful non-famine: Victor, Edwin, Aaron, Clay, Todd.

pH of your stomach is 1.5-3.5, and the pH of urine is 4.6-8

Das erZelbeh Comesh Ist

He said there are always flowers for those who want to see them. Brown wood frame, creme and grey. Yellow stripes, black flower, weathered

 Empathy, defined as the ability to undersatnd and interact based ont he emotional makeup of others, isone of thk ey personalyt traits of emotional intelligence recommended for consideration in hiring hemployees, along with self-awareness, the ability to recognize one's own emotions and motivation and their effect on others; self-regulation, the ability to control or redirect problematic impulses or moods; motivation, a passion ofr work and puruit of goals with energy and persistence; and social skills, proficiency in bulding relationships and networkds (Connolly, 2002).


Friday, April 26, 2013

so you want to be a true aggie?

A year ago this month, I was getting ready to leave USU for good.
As anyone who attends USU knows, becoming a True Aggie is somewhat of a token of pride. (If you care about that sort of thing. Which I happen to know that I do.)
Here's how it works: There is an "A" pedestal on campus, and in order to become a true aggie, one must stand atop the "A" under the full moon at midnight, and pucker up for someone else who has already become a true-aggie. So one passes on the ritualistic tradition to another. (And then you get a little card, to make things official. I pretty much did it for the card... just like I only ran my half-marathon for the t-shirt. Let's move on.)

Here's the card! I'll show you what it says later

Well, I was about to leave USU forever. And I wasn't going to leave it empty-handed. I mean come on. I wasn't about to go grow up and eventually tell my kids that I went to Utah State for two years and didn't come out a True Aggie! I lived a little, thank you very much! I had fun in college! It wasn't just spent pulling my hair out at the library! That is what I will tell my children, and they will believe me. It will be a powerful life-lesson for all.

So April rolled around. I had been on several dates, and they were all... just.. no. Nobody I was really dying to lock lips with. If you want to hear some funny stories, ask Mal, I was a total wreck that semester. 
 Feast or famine, ladies and gentlemen. Finally, it was my last month at USU, and it was time to take action.  Some people just show up to true-ag night and kiss some random stranger. I wouldn't put it past myself to do that, but I am also not really ready to jump on the Epstein-Barr-bandwagon (that is just a fancy name for mono).
Luckily, I had a good friend who learned of my predicament and kindly offered his...services (ha, ha). 

(Things got a little complicated when some random guy decided to ask me out that night...
I had been planning true-ag night for a month, you guys. It was serious business. But of course I wanted to go on the date, so... I simply told the guy I needed to end it early.
I believe he was under the impression that I was going to go home and study for an upcoming test afterwards? Not intentional)

Awkward moment #1: Seeing the date-ee that I ditched, at True Aggie night. Woops.

Anyway we got there. I envisioned it to be all...I don't know... classy? Soft moonlight, starry sky, kiss.. great.
Well... whatever. It was definitely not classy.

I knew my anticipation was wrong as soon as I saw the tacky wal-mart twinkle lights. Blegh.
There was no soft moonlight, in fact, there was just the opposite: bright stage-lights. Everywhere!
And there was a huuuuge line for the "A."  So many people. So much tackiness in one place.
So not waiting in that.

Midnight approaches. I am fine.
Suddenly everyone starts counting down! (tacky again!) Suddenly I am not fine.
You guys, I totally froze. I started freaking out. There were people everywhere, but fella and I were just standing in this huge open area under the blaring lights, and I felt like everyone and their dog were staring at us. The rest is kind of a blur, because I honestly had no idea what to do.

Well, as soon as midnight struck of course fella knew what to do and promptly kissed me and that was that. All things returned to normal, I got my card, and we went home. Anticlimactic? Maybe. Worth it? Definitely.

This is what I was envisioning, except perhaps with a popped foot for dramatic effect. Classy, right? Just look at that dress.
This is what I got. Note the hoards of people and the BLINDING lights. No thanks.

I must say that experience was just..memorable. To say the least. And now I have my official card, so it's all good, and I am content.  Also, mom, don't look him up. He's married now. haha

So if you want to be a True Aggie? My two cents? Just do it. Everybody loves kissing. You burn like 6 calories a minute when you are kissing. It's just a win-win for all. Just go into it prepared, though. Realize that it is kind of for the experience, and it is definitely not sophisticated or romantic or any other such adjectives. Mazel Tov to you all. You only live once, so get out there and do something about it :)

Winner!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Final Stretch

It's that time again. FINALS WEEK! [Insert sarcastic enthusiasm here]

This statement to me pretty much sums it up:
[Britney, my roommie, to me today]  
"So... your mental state is kind of scaring me."
Well, yeah. It's scaring me, too.

It is common knowledge among my friends that I sort of am an.... interesting person when I sleep.
Last semester, I took up swearing in german in my sleep (details here.)
This semester I am apparently just crying. Awesome.
(Seriously my husband is going to have to have a wicked sense of humor to deal with my sleeping problems.)


Anyway, I later related this news to my old roommate, Ashley:
[me] "So... roomie says I am crying in my sleep lately--
apparently I have some serious, deeply buried psychological issues."
[Ash] "I'd be worried if you didn't have deeeeep psychological issues.
Otherwise, you'd be boring, and you'd go to the celestial kingdom
which doesn't have carbs.
Frightful place....."


I probably laughed for a good six minutes on that one.
You guys. I am surrounded by hilarious people. They have gotten me through what has quite possibly been the craziest ride of my life (aka the past 365 days).

Tomorrow, I will finish up my last two finals and be FINISHED. DONE. My first year of NURSING SCHOOL will be behind me, and I will only have 4 semesters left.
Glad I could enjoy a little humor from those around me while I completely lose my mind. Six finals will do that to you (I know, I know, woe is me, right....)
I'll come back to humanity and sanity (hopefully) in about sixteen hours.
Until then....
Have a good day!

And enjoy this ridiculous video that of course has nothing to do with anything, really (make it to 1:21....it is my favorite part)


  Mazel Tov



Monday, April 15, 2013

That Awkward Moment

When you have so much to do that even if you utilized every single millisecond of the day in attempt to finish it all, you still wouldn't even come close


so you take a nap.




Happy Dead Week to you all, and may the odds be ever in your favor as you prepare for finals!

Friday, April 12, 2013

On Getting Hit-on Constantly, by 80 year-old men.

Old man #1: "Hey, you date?"

 ---"Yeah, nobody in particular at the moment but I do date.."

"Well... you are great at what you do, and you're cute. If I was 35 years younger, I'd date you."

Old man #2: "Me Too! I'd take you for a ride up the canyon in my Monster Truck, if I still had it," 
(Side note: this man is a pathological liar, and it is extremely entertaining. There is no way of really knowing if he actually did own a monster truck, but he definitely sparred with Chuck Norris and was a millionaire, and also snuck onto a submarine in the War and has broken every bone in his body and slept with over 100,000 women at one point of his life. He also somehow manages to live life with only a left ventricle and one lung, and is on first-name basis with Mitt Romney. So don't you worry about it.)

#1: "Yeah, I'd take you for rides outside just to show you off."
#2: "I would be totally respectful, and I mean I wouldn't rape you or anything, we'd just go for a nice ride up the canyon in my monster truck..."

Things quickly got awkward. Let's move on.

I had a good laugh, and thanks, I really am flattered. In a, when your grandma pinches your cheek and tells you you are adorable, kind of way.

Well driving home was fun too. Got hit on by two extremely attractive guys in the car next to me at a red light. Now, these situations are fun, but let's talk about what happens in my head vs what actually happens:

Exhibit A:



 Except Vice Versa, as I am a female, not Rowan Atkinson. But you get the point.

"Hey! You're cute. What's your name? ...You should text me,
but not while driving.." (People, I was at a red light. There is no shame in texting at a red light. And this text was extremely important. but not important enough to keep me from talking back to these two striking young men)

So, naturally I act cool..
Which translates to,

I act like an idiot.

They ask for my number.
Light turns green.
I "cooly" tell them my number as I drive away, hair blowing in the wind, music turned up..
Which translates to,

nervously mumble-yelling my number in a loud voice as I totally floor it, barely giving them a chance to hear the "eight-oh-one!" (this reaction played out a lot smoother in my head 0.2 seconds before it actually happened)

Smooth move, kait. Smooth. Move. At least it makes for a good story though. (Cue thinking of really smooth things I could have said 5 minutes after it happened)

Afterwards I decide I need another red light so I can finish my important text message, which naturally means that in the first time in 10 months I hit EVERY single light on University Parkway green, which for anyone who has ever lived in Provo will tell you, that is a straight-out Christmas MIRACLE. 

Oh, and I then witnessed a three-car pileup 20 feet in front of me at an intersection.


Good day.


Back to the 80-year olds. It is nice that you wish to date me and show me off,  thank you for the compliment, but tell that to the 21 year olds my age. I mean, I have won the hearts of plenty an 80-year old, but things get a little complicated when we narrow things down to my actual generation. Now this is partly my fault, because I actually really enjoy the single life, perhaps a little too much at times...




...but sometimes you do wonder. Come on fella, you can hurry it up a bit can't you? I'm pretty fine waiting, but you know. I am almost 22, ("oh no, heaven forbid," says delusional provo), so everyone back home thinks that I am going down the cat-lady path. (Which if I do go down that path, I would totally choose goats over cats).

For now, I'll just take the compliments for what they are. Look, sir, I am sorry but I am just here to give you your pills, and there is also kind of a huge age gap. 

Laughter is good for the soul, and these moments somehow never get old for me.  Pun Definitely Intended.

Good Day.